When i'm up late at night i gain a lot of perspective. This sadly doesn't happen as often anymore as mommyhood has made me an early to bed kind of girl. but every now and then i meet again with the late night and my mind becomes quite clear.
let me paint a picture for you. everyone is asleep, even the dog (big shocker). only one lamp is on, the wood stove is burning and the world is quiet. my pandora station is on called "wake up and breath", labeled such because it contains music that helps me think: nathaniel rateliff, matt nathanson, ray laMontagne, joshua radin and peter bradley adams to name a few. wouldn't you stay up for this too.
so, here i am. in this new year of 2011 my only resolution to myself is to be more positive.
somehow i've let myself get away with being so negative. i decided along the way that my life had not turned out like it needed to be and thus i needed other things to make me happy, not more, but different. this, i must confess often falls on one subject. i subconciously choose something to "harpe" on. this is hard on marriage.
did you know dan and i have been married 9 years as of dec. 15th. yes, we have. we recognize this as no small feat.
today my sister in law introduced me to a new blog, todays letters, i think it's just what i needed.
somehow it reminded me that along the way, i've lost my love..
"love" is an action you know. i think I have forgotten; lost myself in what i want, need, must get done. o no.
I'm glad that God does not let us go.
life is great you know. we have a wonderful house on top of a beautiful mountain in a beautiful perfect little town. we have an incredible sweet lazy dog we didn't even know we needed, i have a laundry room and some really awesome light fixtures. i have a sweet pottery studio where i can pursue what i love to do. i have a husband that is seriously the sweetest man i've ever known. i have 2 boys that are healthy and just awesome and keep me laughing. and most of all i have been saved and given freedom to live with full joy.
so where in the world did i get off track?
it didn't happen over night and it will not change over night, but i will change. i believe in change, it's what Christ built his entire ministry on, the fact that people can change and be made new.
i want this.
all is not lost.
here's to reflecting! Cheers!
"Nothing in my hand I bring, Simply to Thy cross I cling" Please visit my Clay blog to see what I've been up to in the studio @ anniesingletary.com
12 comments:
great now I am obsessed with that blog now. I love it! Thanks for sharing.
yes, thanks for sharing....all of it
This is pretty cool, and so meant to be after Richard's sermon this morning.
I think he pretty much said this line, "i have been saved and given freedom to live with full joy."
He is the one judging our lives and changing us daily, God is the only reason any resolutions get accomplished anyway! You are a great friend, and a wise stay up at nighter:) I can totally respect that! Thanks for reminding me to give God the glory daily!
very nice post-9 years- way to go!!! no small feat indeed. love all the pics, but esp the last one- cool mugs/ tea cups, etc :-)
Great post, sweetie. Beautifully written with raw authenticity.
I have been learning something key over the past couple of years that came to mind when I read your post.
We are made in God's image....we are triune, as well: spirit, soul and body. (I Thess. 5:23) We are to live in that order, and unforturnately, we tend to get out of proper alignment. We let our soul (mind, will, EMOTIONS) take precedence, or our body (exercising too much or not enough, letting food be too important, or appearances, etc.) Between our culture, our flesh, and the devil....so very EASY to do. Our spirit was made to be at the top of the pyramid, so to speak so we can connect to God's Spirit...so concentrating on WHO GOD IS and WHO WE ARE in CHRIST is uber IMPORTANT. Very critical and easier said than done....take EVERY (not some) thought captive to the obedience of Christ. (II Cor. 10:5)
Here is an excerpt from a Max Lucado devotion:
Today’s thoughts are tomorrow’s actions.
Today’s jealousy is tomorrow’s temper tantrum.
Today’s bigotry is tomorrow’s hate crime.
Today’s anger is tomorrow’s abuse.
Today’s lust is tomorrow’s adultery.
Today’s greed is tomorrow’s embezzlement.
Today’s guilt is tomorrow’s fear.
Change the thoughts, and you change the person. If today’s thoughts are tomorrow’s actions, what happens when we fill our minds with thoughts of God’s love? Will standing beneath the downpour of his grace change the way we feel about others?
Paul says absolutely! It’s not enough to keep the bad stuff out. We’ve got to let the good stuff in. It’s not enough to keep no list of wrongs. We have to cultivate a list of blessings. The same verb Paul uses for keeps in the phrase “keeps no list of wrongs” is used for think in Philippians 4:8: “Whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (RSV). Thinking conveys the idea of pondering-studying and focusing, allowing what is viewed to have an impact on us.
Rather than store up the sour, store up the sweet.
You are on the RIGHT track, darlin' ~ you go, girl! May she have success, Lord.
Just some thoughts from a Willow, precious Willow-ette.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Blessings and love to you and yours,
Becky
Congrats on 9 years.. that is an amazing! And though I've never thought you to be a negative person I know we are often most critical of ourselves since we hear our every thoughts even when we don't share them. I know I have been struggling with putting my joy fully in the Lord and not on the daily things of life. It is alot easier said than done, but like you said, God can change our hearts and our focus on HIm and His everlasting Joy!
Love IS an action. Thanks for the reminder. I wish we could have talked about this over hot chocolate... I've been thinking about this a lot lately, too.
Love you!
i found myself in a very similar place 3 years ago. i had become so critical that i wasn't able to see the small gifts god gave me each day. this is something i try and remember in my letter writing ... the art of being joyful lies in the power of extracting happiness from common things ... thanks for reading the bloggy, em
what a great reminder Annie. And congrats on 9 years, that is definitely something to be proud of. Lots of love to you and that sweet fam!
Thank you for writing this. It sounds like God really gave you a wonderful thoughtful moment at night when all were sleeping. I love those times for God to really begin a change. Thank you so much for being transparent.
hmmmm... thanks for reflecting with us, and keep that lamp burning!
Sweet Annie. I have been trying to get back online the past few days and read the postings on all the BMT gal's blogs. So good to see what you guys have been up to! You have such adorable boys.
I appreciate your transperancy in this particular post. As someone who often gets negative and down about how my life has not turned out like I wanted... it's important to be reminded that we all struggle with feeling like that from time to time - not just me. Thanks for sharing!
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