Blogging world is a type of journal right? I used it as such when I first had Will, to write about the great and life changing but hard moments of young motherhood.
I have to look at Will and all the wonderful little people in my life right now a lot.
I have now joined the ranks of women across the world that have had miscarraiges. We found out we were pregnant only about a week ago and were so thrilled. But, yesterday there were some comlications and so we went to the doctor and it apparently was an abnormal pregnancy. There are some risks involved if the pregnancy was in my tubes, so I'm being monitored and am supposed to really take it easy, get my blood taken and see if the HCG levels are rising or lowering. If they are rising on Friday then I have to have an IV to help get rid of the pregnancy from my tubes.
This is a lot for me to take in. I'm not sure how to feel at this point so I have mostly just been tearing up all day and some occasional sobbing (like when friends send really pertinent verses).
I mean I know that Will is amazing and I'm so grateful to God for giving me him to look at and remember that He is still God (thank you Becky). And that He loves me and cares for me.
It's just difficult to think about what I did wrong or what will go wrong next time. All the worries and concerns are not answered at this point by the doctor because we don't know the specifics, so we are just waiting.
I'm hopeful though of the future because of amazing things like new babies, Niki and Nick Swann's little Julia born today,
Best friends, young and old, cousins and wonderful families
and a husband that is so supportive, loving and wise.
19 comments:
i love you my dear sweet friend who has been in my life the longest of any friend ever!!! God is so good, and He will continue to be so good. I am so thankful for you.
I love you so much Annie, I am here for you. We love you and Dan aalot and have seen God in you before, and know that he hasn't gone anywhere. I'm so thankful you have such a wonderful joy in your life in Will to hug on in times like this!
Oh Annie.. I am praying for you and your family. God is good and He always has a reason, even though we don't understand the whys... I love you!!
You know I was just remembering about when you had gotten pregnant with Will.. you were standing in my kitchen, Jen was with us too.. and you were talking about how worried you were if you got pregnant too early because you were doing this pottery thing (I don't remember all the specifics) but I remember you being so worried, anxious (though you were pregnant already you weren't telling us yet either) but.. everything turned out God took care of you... just as he will take care of you now.
Sending prayers and big hugs your way!!
Oh sweet friend. I am so sorry. We love you very much and will be thinking of you during this time. God is Good and Trust Good will come out of this.
Hi, Annie.
We are so sad for you here at TexasNorth... and we understand very much the random crying and the confusion. We love you.
Kate and Rylie and Curt and all the chickens and cows.
You always handle tough situations with grace and through everything point to God. I love you dearly and please let me know if I can help with Will or anything else.
oh annie, know that you will all be in our prayers.
i know that in all things we are to praise Him, so i will certainly praise Him for this little miracle that He blessed you with. it is hard to understand why these things happen, but i trust the He will use this to bring glory to HIS name...and that our great God will reveal Himself to you in a new and mighty way. i pray for His peace that passes our understanding.
thank you for your transparency. you walk through life with such beauty and grace. you are truly an encouragement to all that know you. God has, and will continue to use you in mighty ways.
i wish you were close...i would love to give you a gigantic hug!!
much, much love...
t
Thanks for your words everyone.
Sweet sweet words of encouragement.
Oh Annie! I love you so much and I'm so sorry I am so far away instead of being there for you right now. I'm praying for you, Dan and Will. As everyone said you have such beauty and grace throughout the hard times and the good. Thank you for pouring your heart and pain out for us to be able to pray and allow our hearts to join you through this time. God is an incredibly loving God and I believe His Heart hurts for us when we hurt... I love you dearest friend ~ Jen
Hi Sweetie, I am so sorry for your loss and the pain. I am so glad you have your loved ones and your faith to carry you thru ~ God is trustworthy. HE IS WHO HE SAID HE IS: merciful, kind, good, loving, faithful, and gracious ~ the God of all comfort (to name a few). And YOU ARE WHO HE SAYS YOU ARE: His precious treasure who never leaves or foresakes you, holds your hand, and carries Your tears in a bottle.
His ways are not our ways, but His sovereignty encompasses everything that HE IS.
Hang on, honey ~ look up, and take one step at a time.
May the Balm of Gilead slather your's and Dan's hearts with His peace, comfort and love.
I'll be praying......take care.
Love,
Becky Terry
My precious girl, I was so moved yesterday by your dependence on God to take you each step. You and Dan are so dear to many many people, and we all stand with you two as you trust God's goodness--even when you're grieving. I love you, Mom
We love you guys so much and are praying for you. Thank you so much for your honesty and for allowing us to see God's work in your life in so many ways. He has given you so much strength and wisdom and it is a huge encouragement to us. We love you and will see you soon.
Just wanted to you know we are thinking and praying for you today! Your name is written on my heart and I will lift you up constantly!
Annie, I am so sorry! We love you and will be praying for all of you during this time!
Oh Annie, We will be praying for you and your family. Thanks so much for sharing with us........Love you so much!
praying for you, annie.
I am so sorry to hear about your loss and the uncertainty and questions you are facing right now. I agree that God has not left your side and will not be going anywhere out of reach! I'll be praying for your healing, for peace and for a comfort that only Jesus can provide in times like this. You are precious and loved, Annie!
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